Transformation and Discovery

mary-laven1As I approach the winter Equinox and the days begin to slowly shorten …only by minutes each day.  I’m reminded by my Rosen practitioner that this is how transformation works: gradually and steadily, little by little.  My changes occurred bit-by-bit and became noticeable to me over time.  So too is the Rosen Method of bodywork.  Gradually and steadily, little by little over time, creating change in my life.

When I started receiving this bodywork, I had no idea what to expect, but I was amazed at the discovery that occurred during each session.  I was having explicit memories of my childhood…like little puzzle pieces coming to me.  I was able to validate some of the memories that I had about my childhood when I shared them with my mother.  As my mother was reminded of certain incidences we discussed them, and that validated the work.  I couldn’t help but wonder; what else is there about me?  What other memories are stored in there that I might discover?

That was the word that I used to begin my transformation…dis-cover.  I wanted to uncover, unearth, and dig up whatever else was hidden inside.  I was immensely curious.  I wasn’t afraid.   The discoveries that I was making never frightened me.  They gave me a sense of security and a sense of strength as I became empowered with a true sense of knowing myself.  This work was accessing me!  That was a completely profound experience.  I wanted more!

What I did know, was that throughout my childhood I had had quite a tumultuous relationship with my mother and yet I also had a deep love for her.  But the anger was overwhelming.  I wanted to know if I could access what that was about so that by the time my mother passed, as she had been diagnosed with cancer, I could resolve some of that before she died so that we both could be at peace with our relationship.

Little-by-little, as if pieces of a large intricate puzzle were turned over and put into place, I discovered through detailed memory, the reasons for my hostile relationship with her.  My mother had been the recipient of my anger and defiance due to an incident that she had no knowledge and as a result, no control.  What she did have was a corporal reaction to my defiance, which I thought was the reason for my negative feelings toward her, but she wasn’t the source of them.  This was a profound discovery as it changed my relationship with my mother, albeit posthumously.

So, I continued to get sessions and attend intensives as it continues to uncover new, different and deeper aspects of a life-time of hidden memories.  And I continue to become more empowered by the knowledge of my “self” and more embodied as a result for which I am profoundly grateful for this work.  The end was just a destination.  My journey has been the process.   I had not intended for this transformation to take place, and it did to my delight!   Today, I am a Rosen Method bodywork practitioner.  My hope is to bring this light into the world.

– Mary Laven

Mary Laven has her practice in Rochester, Minnesota USA.  She is the founder and director of Wind over Fire Healing Arts Center, a wellness emporium for mind, body and spirit that offers an array of speakers, body workers, workshops and events at www.windov erfire.com.  Email her at: mary@windoverfire.com

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